There’s nothing wrong with wanting more…

 

That’s a lie the world wants you to believe!

There’s a lot wrong with greed. 

In fact, John tells us that Judas wanted more, and he used to “help himself to the money in the bag.” (John 12:6).

I was reflecting on this as I was driving to work this morning after dropping my daughter off at school.
Can you imagine? Stay with me for a minute as I explain a personal experience.
I have recently gone through a process that has tested my faith in ways I have never experienced before. For the last 8 months, God has asked me to surrender my situation to him, but as someone who has emotionally had to fend for herself since the age of 7 (one day I will tell my testimony), I have a serious issue letting anyone else have control of my heart.

It’s been a constant back‑and‑forth between us—him asking me to hand things over, and me agreeing, yet still wanting to direct how, when, and what he should do. Well, we know that’s not necessarily surrendering it all! Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I found myself again in my car, where it appears it’s the only time I have had some true alone time nowadays, and I felt the Holy Spirit ask me, "What are you afraid of?" I didn’t know how to answer that, but of course, he knows, so he asked, "Are you afraid I’m unable to provide for you?" I said, well, I guess, knowing that’s part of it, but not all. He said, look around you, I own it all. I didn’t say anything, but I thought to myself, actually, the people whose names are on the deeds own it, and he said, No, they administer those for me, I own everything under the heavens (Deuteronomy 10:14). A few days later, again he asks, what are you afraid of? I don’t know, I answered, knowing that he already knows. He said, are you afraid you’ll get sick and I won’t be able to heal you? I have the blueprint of your body in the holes of my hands. I immediately got a mental picture of the nails in his hands, and the word in Isaiah, by His stripes we are healed (53:5). I thought to myself, how silly it may sound of me to think that the one who created my body may not have the possibility of healing it. Then I remembered the people I’ve prayed for healing for and have died, and felt in my spirit that they might have died, but I should just consider it as they reached Heaven sooner than I did. Finally, during a moment of prayer, God asked again, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of being alone? And, again, He knows me better than I know myself, so I didn’t need to answer, but he reminded me that he is love (1 John 4:8), and that He neither leaves us nor forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6). He is my strength (Ephesians 6:10).

Knowing that, today, as I was driving to work, I’m contemplating how Judas had Jesus with him. What more could he possibly want? If he wanted love, Jesus is love. If he wanted strength, he is the source of wisdom and strength. If he wanted money, all silver and gold is His (Haggai 2:8). If he wanted creativity, Genesis is full of examples of how creative God can be. If he wanted truth, Jesus is the source of truth (John 14:6). If he wanted attention, he was walking with the one that masses were gathering to come and see. The long-awaited Messiah was there with him, and Judas knew it; he had seen him perform miracles. But Judas wanted more.

The world let him think he should have it. That he could have it. Greed had blinded him, and, unknowingly, had already spiritually killed him long before he decided to end his life (Matthew 27:5). That’s what spiritual apathy will lead to: a spiritual death. One small bad decision after another. A small lie here and there, no big deal, right? One small step in the wrong direction here, another there, and the next thing you know, you are heading into a path of destruction. Judas didn’t wake up one day and decide to betray Jesus; it was one small step after another, a coin here and another there. A thought he entertained for way too long turned into an emotion that led to the ultimate action, and then came the consequences he couldn’t take back! That’s what the world fails to tell you. There’s a lot wrong with wanting more when you have it all already, when you have Jesus!

So, I don't know what you may be struggling with today, but if you are finding yourself like me, wanting more out of life, but at the same time, struggling to let go, I'm here to encourage you to surrender and let God do the work.